| PLACE | TOTAL VOTES | ENTRY |
| 1 | 02936 | More odd than annoying, and true: Interviewer asked my friend what she thought of his (distinctly ugly) glasses. She paused and then said, "They're ugly." Turns out he got the glasses because they *were* ugly. He wanted "to hire an honest person." -- . . . and he did, too! |
| 2 | 00700 | "Tell me 3 of your weaknesses." "I work too hard. I never ask for a big enough raise. I tend to lie when I'm asked stupid questions." -- Bit Brain |
| 3 | 00465 | True: Question- 'So how does your husband like you working out of the house?' Answer - 'Not that it's any of your business, but since I have two advanced degrees and earn more than twice what he does, he loves it'. -- Decided not to work for that sexist bastard. |
| 4 | 00449 | "Do you plan to keep working once your husband gets out of grad school?" Me: "No, you idget, I got a chemical engineering degree so I could stay home and bake cake." -- interviewing-queen |
| 5 | 00421 | TRUE: Was asked "Do you have a Bachelor's Degree?", Reply:"I have my Masters", response:"But do you have a Bachelor's Degree??" -- Why_I_Want_To_Work_There?_Bert |
| 6 | 00388 | List the Ten Commandments in any order. -- "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7." |
| 7 | 00383 | At my job interview for an Assistant Architect: "It says here you worked in cartography. What kind of carts did you design?" -- let me draw you a map..........bert |
| 8 | 00364 | How do you feel about working late nights and weekends to finish a project on time? .. Response: How do you feel about paying double time for me working late nights and weekends? -- Play-It-Again-Bert |
| 9 | 00347 | Question: Where do you see yourself 5 years from now? Answer: In mirrors, the same way I've been seeing myself everyday so far. -- I love this topic!!! |
| 10 | 00339 | TRUE: If you were offered higher pay by our competing company would you take that job over this one? -- lemme think about that for a sec-bert |
| 11 | 00332 | How many months have 28 days? -- 12 now ask me about programing - bert |
| 12 | 00329 | A friend of mine was given a written "hypothetical" technical question, to answer and return the following day. He returned the correct answer, but did not get the job. Why? They weren't looking for new staff, just the answer to that problem -- which their own staff of engineers couldn't solve! |
| 13 | 00327 | So, you say your wife isnґt going to have kids.... but you, what about you? -- Chris |
| 14 | 00322 | Why I've worked for 22 different companies so far this year- I'm a TEMP, goddamn it! -- Luke Jaywalker |
| 15 | 00320 | Give me a rough estimate of the maximum dollar amount that you've stolen from each of your previous employers. -- I didn't know I had to keep records |
| 16 | 00320 | What would you do if you found one of your clients dead? -- I don't know. Did I kill him or did someone else? |
| 17 | 00317 | Why do you want to work here? ........ DUH, I need a job. -- Half-Bert |
| 18 | 00315 | What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? (asked during college interviews in high school). "Well, ideally I'd like to be a porn star, but I'll probably end up in some dead-end job much like yourself. -- I could be dead in 10 years. |
| 19 | 00314 | Uh, women aren't very good at math. So how did you manage to get an engineering degree? -- I didn't sleep with the (female) professor! |
| 20 | 00314 | Do you have transportation? -- No, I was born and raised here in your office |
| 21 | 00312 | Tell us everything about yourself ... -- I started out as the sperm who won the race |
| 22 | 00302 | "Have you ever considered suicide?" Me: "Is this a trick question or does my hair really look that bad today?" -- interviewing-queen |
| 23 | 00282 | Him: "Are you a Satanist?" me: "no, a Jew. Its a star of David." -- "...you uneducated bastard" |
| 24 | 00281 | The form asked me to name two of my last employer's competitors - my last employer was the US Air Force -- -do Russia and China count? |
| 25 | 00280 | so I suppose you'll be expecting a couple of days off every month for that female thing... -- not as long as you stay out of my way... |
| 26 | 00278 | "Where will you be in 5 years?" Once I actually answered this one with "If I knew the future I wouldn't be here. I'd be working with Dionne Warwick." -- didn't get the job |
| 27 | 00272 | TRUE: What lipsticks do you carry in your purse? (The job was for a typist; I type 100+ wpm) -- They-were-really-looking-for-a-bimbo-Bert |
| 28 | 00271 | You ONLY have 2 years of experance on the product? -- It's only been out 2.5 years! |
| 29 | 00268 | "What do you consider your greatest weakness?" (I wanted to say "Ben & Jerry's chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream" but I didn't--although it's true...) -- Maddy the cubicle funster (with the ice cream bar) |
| 30 | 00259 | So, if you're married, why are you looking for work? -- rachel (I kid you not, this happened to me!) |
| 31 | 00258 | "Seeing we've offered the job to someone else already, do you have any good ideas for our company?" -- Bite me, bert! |
| 32 | 00253 | TRUE: If you're working on a project, and it's your wedding anniversary, your wife has made big plans, and your project has a problem, what would you do. -- Not work here! |
| 33 | 00253 | What is your current salary? -- (What's the minimum we have to pay you?) |
| 34 | 00246 | Do you plan to get paid for this work? -- Not You Bert |
| 35 | 00237 | "When does life begin?" They want answers like "conception" or "birth." I tell them, "When the kids grow up and leave the damn house!" -- Lecherous Leroy |
| 36 | 00232 | True I swear: In an interview at a small company in Texas my girlfriend was told that they tried to hire the "right kinda people". Then asked, "Have you accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior?" -- Major "let's call the lawyer" Bankerbert |
| 37 | 00232 | TRUE - During an interview for a word processor position, the interviewer asked me to get up and walk back and forth like a runway model. I wish I would've taken the job, cuz the harassment suit would have made me rich!! -- Queen Smartypants |
| 38 | 00217 | TRUE: Interviewer - "I don't think you're going to get the job... but I might want to go out with you. OK?" -- I don't think so.... |
| 39 | 00212 | "Don't you feel that there are other things more important than a high salary?" -- heard-it-before-bert |
| 40 | 00212 | "Let's see your fingernails..." Asked by a male engineer to a female engineer applicant. -- Yes, I can get dirty. And I got the job. |
| 41 | 00211 | Handed a paper bag and asked "What items would you put in the bag that represent you?' -- A-bottle-of-Jack-Daniels-and-a-handgun-bert |
| 42 | 00210 | What's your worst personality trait? Like I'm going to honest... -- --newsyspice |
| 43 | 00210 | "When did you last use illegal drugs?" Is it really legal to ask a planned question assuming guilt? -- Warned all future job candidates - bert |
| 44 | 00207 | "I didn't have a chance to read your resume. Could please tell me a little about yourself?" -- Why Me ? |
| 45 | 00207 | TRUE: I was once asked, "How many gas stations are there in the United States? Take me through your thinking." This was for an assistant position at an Internet gaming company that did absolutely no gas-related business at all. -- Let's go for a drive and count! |
| 46 | 00207 | True: Prospective Employee, to me (the interviewer)...You don't have a problem with me leaving every day to get my injections, do you? If I miss them, I get violent. -- No I don't...Why don't you leave now? |
| 47 | 00205 | What's the most annoying question you've been asked in a job interview? -- That one? |
| 48 | 00205 | "You understand that this interview is for a permanent position?" "Yes, I plan on living forever." -- And I NEVER want to be promoted - Bert |
| 49 | 00182 | "If you were a twee, what kind of twee would you be?" -- Baba-Wawa-bert |
| 50 | 00175 | "Your work history is blank for these two years. What were you doing?" -- 2 to 5 in San Quentin-bert |
| 51 | 00169 | Why do you want to work for this company? Why? Because I want a job, that's why! -- bus-stop of the damned |
| 52 | 00156 | Have you ever in the past, or are you ever planing in the future, to systematically gun-down everbody in your workplace? -- Now answer honestly |
| 53 | 00153 | true: I had to fill out a form with 200 questions, most of 'em as intelligent as the following. "do you think it's ok to hit children when they don't do what they're told" I had to lie to get that job -- (why are swedish people called dumb abroad????) |
| 54 | 00144 | "You don't have a problem with middle-aged men grabbing you from behind and complimenting your ass, do you? Because the last thing we need around here is another lawsuit." -- Amy the PHB Slayer |
| 55 | 00141 | TRUE: (to a former Military Intelligence Officer with highest Security clearance) "Are you eligible to work in the US?" -- IntelBert |
| 56 | 00139 | Asked how long I'd been married and where my exotic look came from. I said, "You can't ask me that in an interview." "Is this an interview? I thought we were having a conversation." Then he said, "So there are rules about that?" He's a lawyer. -- Got the job though! |
| 57 | 00134 | "It seems to me you are overqualified for this job! What do you think??" (I think I need to earn a living and pay off my debts!!!) -- ok_if_i_just_got_through_2nd_grade? |
| 58 | 00134 | Question: If you were a tree what kind of tree would you be? Answer: The one that would fall on you for asking such a stupid question!!! -- Timbert!!!!!! |
| 59 | 00133 | Before you start work with us, would you consider shaving off your moustache? -- The_Albanian_Communist_party_used_to_insist,_too |
| 60 | 00132 | How did a pretty little thing like you ever get through law school? -- Blondezilla |
| 61 | 00131 | Do you mind if we have regular body cavity searches? -- Polar Bear |
| 62 | 00127 | TRUE: In one interview after being asked THREE times in various wordings "How do you handle job stress?", I decided I didn't want that job and answered "I've been known to pass out." -- Functionary Third Class |
| 63 | 00123 | "And where do you see yourself in five years?" Spending my lotto winnings in Bali you moron -- augh |
| 64 | 00122 | If I get asked "Do you take drugs?" one more time I'm going to start. -- Pre-junkie phase |
| 65 | 00121 | Why do you want to work here? - I suppose they need to know I can lie convincingly under pressure -- doh - the money -bert |
| 66 | 00118 | "You don't have an engineering degree, how can you have a brain?" For a non-engineering related job. -- Head of The Enviro Command Center |
| 67 | 00118 | Any woman who's been working more than 15 years can attest to this one: "Are you using contraceptives, or are you planning to get pregnant soon?" -- None of your damn BUSINESS Bert! |
| 68 | 00117 | Them: "Why do you want to work here?" Me: "I can't get hired as a pool boy at the playboy mansion. This was number two." -- My name is not Bert! |
| 69 | 00116 | How about most jaw-droppingly stupid? A friend was asked in the interview, "Are you Jewish?" She replied, "None of your business, and I just got this job!" -- . . . and she did, too! --Bou Galoux |
| 70 | 00116 | Hypothetical/Psychological questions. If I were an animal, I would like to be a grizzly bear, so I could rip your head off for asking me that question! -- PrairieDog-Bert |
| 71 | 00115 | Q: Why do you feel you would be the most qualified person to fill this position? Interpretation: Because I am the all-knowing and powerful master of the universe -- Yeah_Right_Bert |
| 72 | 00112 | (True) What's your golf handicap? (I can't play...I'm too busy working.) -- scrnsrfr |
| 73 | 00111 | "What is your greatest weakness?" In garnering the unvarnished truth, this is about as effective as the U.S. Customs form on which they ask "Have you ever been a member of the Nazi Party?" -- we have always lived in argentina--bou galoux |
| 74 | 00109 | Will you accept this job if we offer it? (Make the blasted offer, and then we'll see.) -- selfemployedbert |
| 75 | 00109 | Even though there's a Federal Law against Age Discimination, too, it never ceases to amaze me how HR finds way to pry your age out of you.."WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE FROM.." is one questions that keeps popping up! -- Sorry I'm Not 22 Anymore..Claire Voyant |
| 76 | 00108 | Q: "You were a National Merit Scholar semi-finalist. Why no degree?" A: "My mother was a psychotic alcoholic, and kicked me out of the house when I was 17." -- I wish it weren't TRUE! |
| 77 | 00108 | I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to explain all of these convictions." -- Cthulhu_spawn-bert |
| 78 | 00107 | The previous employee left because of high stress and low pay - are you OK with that? -- HappenedToMeBert |
| 79 | 00106 | True: I finished my bachelors degree in 3 years by going in the summer. Interviewer: "You went to summer school? Why, are you stupid?" -- Torgo |
| 80 | 00105 | Are you pregnant or otherwise disabled? - Hey, one of these questions again, and I'd slash the tyres of your wheelchair! -- Luigi the COBOL programmer |
| 81 | 00104 | Thankfully, many of the really annoying questions are now illegal to ask. What drives *me* nuts is when an interviewee offers up that off-limits info out of the blue. -- shut up! i'm NOT supposed to be hearing this! |
| 82 | 00103 | TRUE: "What makes you think you have the endurance for this kind of work? The shifts are 8 hours long, you know." (False) So i chased him around his little desk until 911 arrived. -- dyanna"i usually work 12 hrs"bert |
| 83 | 00102 | Oh! Are you still here? -- the invisible man |
| 84 | 00102 | Have you found Jesus? (yeah, I left him laying around somewhere) -- Mont-bert |
| 85 | 00101 | Why do you want to work for our company? -- no fun when I don't WANT to work for this place |
| 86 | 00101 | TRUE:"Our 401K plan-oh, you probably wouldn't understand it; would you like us to talk to your parents?" -Asked of me for an interview for after graduation w/computer science BA, and being an adult NOT living w/parents. Took better job elsewhere... -- ...making $10K more w/stock options |
| 87 | 00100 | TRUE: My interview with an Internet Company Startup consisted of an 10-page ?#^&*$! Graduate Level FINAL exam in JAVA & C++! I'm 42, all the interviewers were 22 year old Computer Science graduate students. They are going belly up now anyway. -- Landed a job with a great company anyway b e r t |
| 88 | 00099 | You do know your hair would be considered illegal here don't you, I mean you won't mind cutting it? -- WTF (It my hair you freak) Bert |
| 89 | 00099 | I hate it when the spotty youth from HR asks "And what are your interests, Mr R*****s?". "Adolescent skin complaints" usually shuts him up. -- minister_of_creative_sloth |
| 90 | 00097 | I remember your boss. We took some courses together in the university. You don't mind if I call him and ask about you and your qualifications, do you? -- Not at all. (But please don't) |
| 91 | 00094 | Repeatedly asked why I "quit" the army. Asked why they should hire me if I had a history of quitting from my last employer. (I served for 8 years by the way) For whatever reason, he viewed electing not to stay in for 20 years as quitting. -- Legion |
| 92 | 00094 | "Ever been convicted of any felonies?" Me: "I was found not guilty by reason of insanity, so it doesn't count, right?" -- NO! Not bitter at all-bert |
| 93 | 00093 | "So, what salary range are you after?" - Honestly, do they really want the truth? -- How about a quadrillion dollars per second?? |
| 94 | 00092 | I see by yoiur resume you have experience in (Brand X) and (Brand Y) software, how about (Brand Z)? (Yes, but I deliberately leave things off my resume to save space.) -- Prisoner of 2nd cubicle |
| 95 | 00091 | What makes you stand out from everyone else interviewing from this job? (This for a shelf stacker. Perhaps I should paint myself green to avoid the question...) -- Miranda |
| 96 | 00090 | Just what kind of a name is Diekmeyer anyways... -- Lawsuitbert |
| 97 | 00087 | "How long will you commit to stay?" Makes me crazy, because I want to be honest if it isn't my dream job, even though I've had scads of so-called permanent jobs where *they* got rid of *me* in short order and with no notice. Is turnabout fair play? -- with a 2-year average, Diogenes |
| 98 | 00085 | If you were stuck on a deserted island, what would you have with you?.... -- RR |
| 99 | 00084 | What did you score on the GRE? What!? I'm applying for a job, not graduate school! -- -They Grrrrrrrate! |
| 100 | 00083 | Will you be willing to take a pay cut? Yes! anything to get out of this hell hole I work at now! -- Poor-but-happy-bert |